Using mobile, apologies for the crack handed way I've done this.
Search for 'The Love Escalator Prank'. Watch the video, doesn't matter which source. A young 20 something woman from Hawaii posted this comment:
To all those guys feeling grossed out about this. This is how us women feel about unwanted attention. So just please stop.
Next comment, another 20-something women, from the USA but doesn't specify:
For real tho
My reply then went like this:
Whilst I don't disagree with the sentiment of your reply, you shouldn't really speak for one half of the population in one sweeping comment. This prank appears to doing a wonderful job of showing just how insecure some men are just because something simple happened like a hand touch, albeit done on purpose. I don't know if the maker's purpose was to put over your POV or not, if so then they should've gone with catcalling or bum touching on the way up instead.
For me, I'm personally embarrassed by watching that, and seeing both just how aggressive some guys are, as well as the failure on behalf of their friend/partner to tell them that behaviour is not acceptable. Of course a certain amount or type of unwanted attention is unacceptable, but I don't think this video is either there yet or demonstrates that point. I believe it's highly likely that, roles reversed, most women would either have felt embarrassment, shame or possibly even humour in that situation: Highly unlikely anger. Me, I'd have been puzzled as hell all day if a guy did that to me, and in a world of trouble if a girl had when my wife was with me.
Unwanted attention is indeed a problem that needs stopping, but I don't think this is the right place to do it. On a general scientific level, I'd like to find out what is a higher grossed out level for women, non-sexual unwanted physical contact (like this) or non-sexual catcalling ("Wow, you've got a lovely smile!"). Genuine question, not trying to say they're the worst examples or anything.
Up to a point, all attention is unwanted unless specifically asked for. If a guy puts on a smart suit, hits the club with his pal hoping to meet someone, at some point he's going to have to take a risk and make the approach. How is he to know if he attention is unwanted or not? If a woman put on a smart outfit, hits the club with a gal hoping to meet someone, because she looks like she's made an effort is that enough? Clearly not, and leads to victim blaming. Should every guy wait until the woman has given him written confirmation before offering to buy her a drink? Again, ridiculous, but where's the line?
In the real world we all have to take a gamble at some point, it's just as important to accept that as it is to accept either a rejection on the man's side as it is to expect attention from a guy on occasion (some more than others, as a man who was never a 'player' or confident with women in my younger pre-marriage days I'd have been more nervous asking someone out in a club than I would trying to start a conversation up in a place like a museum where I would hope we might have something in common). No-one is disputing that some men are incapable of taking rejection, but at the same time we should not vilify all men for making a sensible approach nor assume all women do not want it.
I'm sorry you've clearly had bad experiences in life with my half of the species, FWIW I'd be quick to jump on 'mates' if they had that kind of attitude discussed. However, it's unfair to assume that no woman might appreciate an approach like this, as we are all different.
Now, I've read that out a hundred times both pre and post posting, and I think I make a fair and reasonable point. However, am I just mansplaining? I'm high as a kite on morphine right now (for those not on FB, this is my 5th day in hospital this week with gallstones) so has it made me a cunt?
Genuine answers only please, I'd like to think I'm still a reasonable human being despite my right wing political leanings.